Nicky

In my last post I neglected to mention that I thought Nicky's pics on OK Cupid were indicative of someone mental illnes. Part of the reason I didn't mention it was I wouldn't necessarily file it under good or bad and it was just a passing thought but it turns out I was right. They were all pictures taken a few years ago, that much is obvious from having met Nicky, and it's only their randomness placed next to eachother that give me that impression. One appears to be at some sort of fancy dress do and she is not looking directly at the camera but it's a candid shot. One is of her in a black coat on a train. Her face is overexposed and looks washed out and she isn't smiling. One is a small, strangely cropped short of her laughing and a couple appear to be selfies taken in her bedroom, when she looked much younger and slimmer and are slighly blurred. She is smiling and looks pretty.
The person I met in the pub on Sunday told me she is bi-polar and has an injection every month to stop her going crazy. I asked if she'd been sectioned. Twice, she said and it wasn't so bad. They feed you alot. She's tried suicide. I'm not sure how many times but she drank some kind of acidic cleaning fluid. She said she's had lots of dates but none of them have been a success. One guy was homeless. She bought him a bagel and he covered it in tomato ketchup and didn't say thank you. Another guy asked if he could grope her breasts.
I didn't find her very attractive and I don't think she was attracted to me but in anycase as I'm going to Bangor we both agreed that there no point in starting a relationship. We might end up being friends, though, which would be nice.
My paranoid fears about her being pushy were unfounded. She said you've got to follow your dreams.

Date night

So I have a date. As far as I recall it's been six months since anybody messaged me on OK Cupid or Plenty of Fish but a few days ago someone living in Margate did, the day after I said yes to Bangor university. The signs are good and bad. Mostly not good, I think. On the good side, we have alot in common. She went has lived in two countries abroad, taught English as a foreign language, was once a copywriter, writes short stories, has a disabled mother (agorophobia) and listens to alternative music and is apparently unemployed. All of those things more or less apply to me too. I don't think you can call my meagre existence living on occasional gigs and tax credits a grown up job. In addition, she went to Goldsmith's college. All good.

Now the not good. Well okay, superficially we have alot in common but I didn't detect any spark in our 56 message text chat and that is first and foremost. It was a pretty dull conversation. Second, it felt a little pushy. She opened with:

hello, I am also a writer when I am not looking after my mum, who has agrophobia [sic],
I see you are in Margate. Me too. It's great isn't it?

Now the truth of Margate is it certainly has its charms but many people would describe it as a dump. I guess it's a bit of a mixed bag. But why is she asking me to confirm that it's great when this is by no means a given? I would translate her first paragraph as:

 I have to look after my mother and am therefore confined to Margate. As a result it's important I and my potential spouse like Margate. Margate is great. There we are, I just planted the suggestion in both our minds.

The exchange rolled on a bit, during which it became clear that she hadn't read my profile properly. That was disappointing. Anyway at an opportune moment (though it's already mentioned on my profile) I mention that I'm going to Bangor. She writes:

 That's a bit far away! Why are you going so far away?

Again, to me this is non-sequitur. Far away from where? From Margate? It's not as if I'll be commuting each day from Margate. Is Margate the centre of the universe? No. It's in the arse end of Kent. Bangor is in the arse end of Wales. No biggie. Wherever I am is the centre of my world and at least I'll be surrounded by people I can talk to, which is more than can be said for my life in Margate. So Nicky (her name) asks me what I'm studying and I say Chinese and Creative Studies and she says it's a bit random but it's my choice. I don't know if she means the location is random or my degree choice, due to the delay you get with text chat and I don't ask for clarification. I just say I don't know anybody in Margate and she says:

You know me for starters

Which is really nice, except it's barely true, I'm not even an FB friend. Also, I've been on OKC since June 2015 and she never messaged me in all that time. As far as I recall, her profile has been around all that time or near enough. I think I may have liked it but I must admit I never messaged her.

So those are all my dark thoughts. It doesn't look like a match made in heaven and I can't say I'm bothered because my heart is set on uni.On top of that I'm not happy about my appearance at present.